Confession

I am not used to being sad. Before our sweet baby was born into Heaven, I was pretty much happy all of the time. I would have my couple of hours of being in a "funk," but I knew nothing about having a few sad days. I do now.

I don't say this because I feel like I am depressed....I am grateful that I am not! I am content. But, I have had a few days in a row of being really sad which is not something I am accustomed to. This has led me to a few things....

First of all, I have a renewed longing and thirst for Heaven. I want to be in the presence of God and sing praises to Him! I don't want the sadness of living in a fallen World. And, I want to see both of my Papas and my sweet baby, too. What a wonderful day that will be! (Revelation 21:4)

Secondly, I treasure my prayer time with the Lord!! I can literally feel Him in a tangible way as I pray for strength and faith! I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit living in me! I have clung to the Lord's promises and who He is (no matter how I feel)! (Hebrews 11:1)

Lastly, I have learned more about my Husband in these hard times than ever before, and I am completely head-over-heels, madly, newlywed type, nauseatingly in love with him!!! Matt has been such a rock and has reminded me of biblical truths right when I needed it most! One being that there is fruit from this pain...just not the fruit that we thought. Another being that God knows the beginning and the end of His story. We can and should trust Him with EVERYTHING (Revelation 22:13)! Amen, right!

I confess...I am not used to being sad. But, I have decided it is ok to be sad sometimes. I pray that my sad days keep leading me to a deeper understanding, trust, and love of my Sweet Savior!!